An Open Letter to My Wife

Dearest Marie,

I need you to stop.  Seriously, stop.  I’m writing you this open letter because I don’t think you’ll respond if I tell you this face to face.  I know all the best Christian marriage counselors say to discuss things in private, but I think this is best said in an open setting on the Internet for all to see.  I will repeat my plea:  stop!

See, these first few weeks here in Montana have made a lot of things more clear to me, and no, I don’t mean simply the night sky.  I’m talking more about your servanthood.  As I spend all day in class, you take care of both kids, keep the room tidy, and make sure everyone’s ready all the time.  I think it’s too much, and though you rarely listen to reason, I need you to stop!

I know that you’re called to be a mom to our daughters, but seriously, did God really call you to be such a good parent?  I mean, let them suffer every once in awhile.  They don’t always need you to be there, caring, loving, disciplining, helping, teaching, and being awesome.  Just because Addy’s being funny doesn’t mean you always have to be great.  Just because Mercy’s crying doesn’t mean you need to take care of her.  Just stop being such a good mom!

I know you’re really good at being neat and organized, but seriously, does everything always have to be tidy?  I mean, just because I forget where I put my stuff strewn around the room doesn’t mean you need to keep track of it all.  That just seems tiring.  Take a load off once in awhile.  Stop being so orderly!

I know that you care about presenting our family to the Lord properly, but you should stop making sure I don’t look like an idiot when I leave.  I mean seriously, it’ll do the other students some good to think that I don’t always look this good.  And the girls don’t always need to look so cute either.  Just stop being so caring to your family for once!

I really need you to stop being so awesome and be a little selfish.  Here’s why:  you’re making me look bad. I don’t really think it’s fair for you to be a better parent, more tidy, and more caring than I am.  I mean, you should bring it down a notch so that at least we both look like failures.  It’s not fair to me that you’re better to me than I am to you.

And that is why I wrote this open letter.  I need you to stop being so great.


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  • Aaron

    You crack me up, bro… :)

  • quizwedge

    Catching up, but LOL!